Happy Valentines Day to all of you out there. Those that follow me & those that will in the future.
How was your day? Was it filled with love? Did you get nice gifts? Did you spend a romantic evening at home? Did you spend it alone? Did you pamper yourself? Did you spend it with your kids? Did you get proposed to? Did you get stood up? Did he cut his phone off? Are your going to celebrate your Valentine’s Day tomorrow? Is he about to come late night? 👀
I know those are a lot of scenarios but those are real life ones. As for me, I spent mine with my kids and then had a few glasses of wine with my good neighbor. Guess you can clearly tell that we’re both single 😂😂😂
But guess what????
This Valentines I wasn’t sad. I wasn’t wishing I had a boo. I didn’t get jealous looking at other couples. I’m grateful for that, because last Valentine’s Day was rough. I was so sad. I was sad even when I seen fathers share moments with their daughters/children. Why? Because it reminded me of the family that I so badly wanted but didn’t have. It reminded me that I’m a single mother and don’t know what it feels like to experience those sweet moments. It reminded me that every guy I ever loved/lusted kicked me to the curb 🤦🏾♀️
But this Valentines Day I had peace. Peace that one day I will have that husband and family life that I desire. That right now is just not the right time. God still has a lot of work to do in me. Healing…. major healing. He knows that whatever man he puts in my life is going to have to be a special kind. Isn’t that great? How God cares about the smallest details? That in itself is worth the wait.
Now don’t get me wrong, yes I still do want love, I still want to be married and all those good things, but honestly I might not even know what to do with a husband right now if God gave him to me.
See, I’m used to being by myself. I’m used to getting treated like dirt. I’m used to being able to just cut them off to protect me. I’m used to hitting that block button in my iPhone when I feel like I’ve been tried. I’ve become so used to the bad that good would seem so foreign to me.
Love is beautiful but at times it actually scares the crap out of me. Right now, if I got proposed to, when the time actually came, I’d probably be a run away bride.
Life has shaped some unhealthy experiences within me, and relationships with others is a big area.
So I will gladly use this time to get me right so that I can be ready when that man comes along for me.
In due time.
Now, I know I wrote this post to tell you all Happy Valentine’s Day, but all that was just on my heart to say.
Maybe someone else needed to read this, to have faith, to accept the fact that they’re single for a reason, and when it’s their time it’ll be their time and nothing can come between it.
I know it’s hard ladies, all of our lives we have put in our minds and hearts that what we’re supposed to do is fall in love, get married and have a family. And that’s not a bad thing to hope for, but we just have to be patient.
We have to stop giving the wrong men chances, stop settling, stop giving wife benefits to men who don’t even deserve to be in our presence. And instead of letting it make us bitter that we’ve wasted a big deal of our lives doing so, let it make you better.
Let it teach you what not to do or tolerate. Let it teach you how to love you. Let it push you deeper into the love of God.
I love you all. Be blessed 🥰